*penned by this Jewish mother*
I’m a Jewish mother
Worrying is what I do
Put on another sweater
And shall I tie your shoe?
Oy!
And vey!
You’re becoming an old maid
Where is your prayed-for spouse?
You’re already almost eighteen
And still living in my house
Yet I cannot think of a boy
Deserving of my princess
Now go clean your room already
I’ve never seen a scarier mess
Oy!
And vey!
They are fifteen minutes late
And traveling at night
My heart is palpitating
Another Jewish mother fright
Then they finally arrive
And don’t finish the food on their plates
How do these kids survive?
Who knows what danger awaits?
Oy!
And vey!
My blood pressure is soaring
As I watch them dive into the pool
When I was even older than they are
No diving was the steadfast rule
I cut their steak into bite-sized pieces
I expect you would do the same
If you are a Jewish mother
We have the very same last name
Oy!
And vey!
Never mind that you’re forty
An accomplished CPA
I worried about you back then
And I worry about you today
Why don’t you ever call?
Or at the very least send a quick text
You know how I can get
Nervous about what happens next
What’s that you say about my taking a Xanax?!
This worrying is all for you!
And I hope you truly appreciate it
That’s the very least you can do.
Oy!
And vey!
(It’s about time to say:
With help from The One Above, everything will be ok.)
