Valuing Your Life: Moving Forward With Self-Care


Every day presents us with the opportunity to cultivate gratitude for all we have and all that is potentially possible. As humans, we are granted the incredible ability to look deeply into our lives and create positive change by asking, “What am I doing right, and where can I jump hurdles and move forward?” This journey of searching within ourselves allows us to live our best lives. No stagnation. No regrets. Just positive movement. It takes time and effort, but is so worth it.

I am fortunate to participate in Rabbi Nivin’s learning groups/chaburas. For years, this has guided me to live my best life. One question Rabbi Nivin posed that really made me think was, “What are the one or two things which I can make a priority this year that would make every single thing different in my life?”

Wow! What a powerful question. I thought and thought, and then a visit to my doctor brought me the answer: Valuing my own life as a priority—physically, mentally and spiritually.

This single thing—the valuing of our own lives—is essential if we want to be successful and energized. Many women give to others with ease, but when it comes to filling their own energy banks, they are left depleted. Much of my coaching practice is focused on helping women learn this self-care.

Back to my doctor’s appointment for a moment. Prioritizing others has always been a focus for me. It comes naturally. I love giving, and that’s why I love life-coaching. It gives me a constant opportunity to participate in the growth of others.

Prioritizing myself has been more challenging. Just to be clear, I’m not talking about neglect. I exercise, eat well and create a healthy environment with spiritual growth for myself. It’s more of a subtle lack of positioning; a lack of focusing on the following question that my doctor posed.

My incredible doctor and I were discussing some indecision and stress I was experiencing. Her powerful question was to ask in every situation, “What is best for Julie?”

What a game changer. This would definitely make every single thing different.

Ask yourself in your daily activities: “What is best for ­_____ (fill in your name)?”

This question is not to be selfish or to view the world with entitlement. No, the question is what is best in mind, body and soul for me—and ultimately for others. We can continue giving in a loving, caring way, and include ourselves in the picture. Our yearly direction should consider our needs and how things emotionally impact us.

It seems so simple, but for many highly sensitive, kind souls, this way of life is a new frontier. So many of us caregivers forget to make these considerations for ourselves. Of course we all want to bring goodness to the world…and that world includes us!

Start thinking about this in all areas of your life:

Physically: What’s best for ____? Are you setting up a healthy sleep schedule/fitness activities/ healthy cooking time?

Mentally: What’s best for ____? Prioritize your awareness of over-thinking, and figure out how to manage it. What situations need looking at so you can make them best for you, and not toxic?

Spiritually: What’s best for ____? Are you prioritizing time to connect with Hashem in a meaningful way? Are the activities you do spiritually bringing you fulfillment?

Every year—and every day—is a new opportunity. Don’t waste it! Go for your best life by including you in the picture. Bring all that potential to light and life!