Marriage is difficult. Many of us know this going in, even with our rosy outlooks and our feelings of overwhelming love. We expect certain compromises will need to be made, that we may have a hard time adjusting to living with someone else and figuring out who is responsible for what, and that we may need to swallow some frustration about the socks on the floor or the toothpaste all over the sink. What we may not be prepared for, though, is the difficulties we will face in the bedroom.
Every woman should have the chance to succeed in her marriage, but first she needs the proper education and tools to do so.
Faigy Pollock is here to change that. After experiencing a lack of preparation in her own marriage, Faigy took the initiative to research and understand the Torah’s view on intimacy and the physical relationship between a husband and wife. She realized that she couldn’t be the only one experiencing challenges, and that our mesorah would for sure have the answers…if we just had access to them.
Recognizing that there is a major lack of education in this area, and that many religious women are unprepared going into their marriages, even as they learn about hilchos niddah in kallah classes, Faigy set out to share what she had learned with other women so they would not have to face the confusion that she did. She wanted to give other women the tools they need to have a happy and healthy physical relationship, as any problems in this area can spill over and cause shalom bayis issues in general. Sexual intimacy is held in very high regard in the Torah and is one of the foundations of a marriage. Having a healthy, loving physical relationship creates oneness in marriage which brings Hashem’s Presence to a household, and to the world. Every woman should have the chance to succeed in her marriage, but first she needs the proper education and tools to do so.
Trained as an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioner, as well as a kallah teacher with over 12 years of experience, Faigy provides support to women in their marriages so they don’t feel lost or alone. Intimacy is such a private matter, and although many people have a rocky start, they may have a hard time even recognizing there is a problem, or they think there is something wrong with them, or that they’ve married the wrong person. Even worse, they may feel stuck, afraid, or ashamed to reach out for help, thinking that no one else is going through this, not realizing that their struggles may just be a lack of information. This feeling of isolation only makes things worse.
They may feel stuck, afraid, or ashamed to reach out for help, thinking that no one else is going through this, not realizing that their struggles may just be a lack of information.
Faigy offers courses for women to take online in the privacy of their own homes…and she does not mince words. She gets into the nitty gritty, making sure she is covering all her bases and giving women the confidence they need to completely transform their marriages. She brings many Torah sources, and she does not shy away from topics like physical pain during intercourse, trauma, learning how to work with our bodies and ignite our passion, the differences in male and female approaches, etc.
It is Faigy’s goal to revolutionize the way we teach our daughters about marital intimacy. She is normalizing the conversation, so we no longer have to be embarrassed by our struggles in this area. She hopes we can get back to properly preparing our children for all aspects of marriage, that kallah teachers don’t shy away from discussing these topics, and that we give the next generation of couples the tools they need to succeed in creating healthy marriages.
Faigy is helping build the road to get there.